Our First Birthday

Happy Birthday to Us!

On the 24th February 2021, we had our first ever Wild Women event. Eight ladies and myself, at Koi in Cambridge, spent the evening talking and laughing our way through a delicious Indian meal. 

So much has changed and since September last year we are now in eleven regions throughout New Zealand. Holey COW! I never imagined this! I really didn't!

I can spit out the stats on how the groups have grown and they all look very positive. But really, it's been such a journey. A journey that continues, and through it all I have learnt so much. 

The other day, a friend of mine told me she was inspired by me - and honestly I wasn't prepared for what she said. I was a little taken back when she said that, and I had to ask why because nothing in my life feels perfect, each day is a challenge just to show up. She explained that I was doing what I wanted with my life and doing the things that I was passionate about. It bowled me over! Damn, I never saw it like that and I definitely didn't feel that I was winning many times throughout last year. It's been tough, but I have learnt so much. 

So what did I learn?

Learning from your mistakes is nothing new, we all know that is how most people learn. These though are things that I learnt, and now looking back can see how I changed, developed and learnt. Hopefully they help you too. 

  • Nothing is ever as it seems - nope the grass is not greener, and everyone is having challenges that you will be none-the-wiser about, unless you honestly connect with them and then they will tell you their story. You'll be surprised! 
  • Be vulnerable - I have met some amazing woman. Strong women. Passionate women. Each one, whether they realise it or not, have been my inspiration. Two women that I have met, have even become what I call very good friends - I love spending time with them. That wouldn't have happened if at some point, we weren't vulnerable with each other, and shared some of our darkest and deepest worries, secrets, or who we were. So be vulnerable but with the right people. 
  • Some people are just crap - yep, harsh as it sounds, you don't need people like this in your life. Remove them. Remove them from Facebook, remove them from your life. If you cant do that, then remove yourself. They will only but bring you down and if you let them stick around they will undermine all the good work you are doing in your life. You don't need to be mean, but you do need to remove them and quickly. No point in trying to change them because they won't. 
  • Life changes in a blink of an eye - one minute I was running an HR business, next it was sold. One minute I was living with the man I love (and still do), next we decided to live separately. One minute we are in level 1, next we are in lockdown at level 4. Take each moment for what they are and enjoy them - breathe in that delicious baby of yours (oh I do love a good baby smell), hug your man for as long as you like, make love late into the night, have fun with your kids, spend time laughing with your friends, smell the roses, drink that good wine, eat that good cheese. Because before you know it, you will be 79 or 89 or 99 years old, and you'll wonder how you got there! Best you have some amazing stories to tell from along the way :)
  • Uncertainty - Fuck, did Covid really screw everything up! The one thing I've learnt is that uncertainty comes from our brains when we try to make decisions for the future based on past experiences. When we have nothing to go on, our brain then switches into stress or overwhelm. We can plan all we like, but when shit hits that fan, it is what it is. I go into freeze mode, some people get into fight mode (which we saw), and others run away. To get myself out of that the only thing to do is to stop, breathe and regroup. Breathing is essential!
  • Just start - want to do something different  - just start. Want to develop a business - just start. Want to learn a new skill - just start. Want to make new friends - just start. The hardest thing is to do is start. Even this year, when I returned to Wild Women, I was struggling. But I knew I just needed to start. The amazing thing happens when you start, the juices start flowing, and when you take small but meaningful steps towards your goals, they develop before your eyes. So please I beg you, just start!
  • Perfection and Failing - we all fail, and perfection is a false currency. Life is not perfect. We will fail. We will fall over. And that is ok! Stop trying to be perfect, as it just creates a level of stress we all don't need. If you do fail, I have found it best to raise your hand, admit your failure, apologise where required. THEN...get back up and try again. You could do this a million times, before any success. And that is ok too! I know I have made mistakes, some of them are only little slights, but when I allowed myself to sulk and be a miserable cow, I didn't learn the lesson. When I reflected, and figured out what I learnt from the experience, I grew! Choose to grow!!
  • Love yourself - this is my final lesson and one I am still working on. But love yourself. Loving yourself is not some vain attempt to lift yourself up above others. Noooooo its not! It's about appreciating all your lumps and bumps (you made a human how amazing is that!), it's about feeding yourself good food, it's about remembering to drink water, it's about making time to exercise, and to take time for yourself. I notice that when I don't get the time I need to myself, my creativity takes a dive, I get angry at my loved ones and my brain feels clogged. Pretty much everything goes to shit. My word for the year is consistency. I am getting up at the same time each day, to exercise each day, to eat three meals a day, and to have time to myself each day. It doesn't always go to plan, but when it doesn't I have reserves which means I cope. That means I can love others, look after others and be there for others. So love yourself please!

I love what I do, and I love the community I am growing. I am so appreciative to those that have joined me in my journey, and the amazing women I have met. I feel super blessed. Without Wild Women I wouldn't be where I am. 

Celebrations like first birthdays are important for reflecting on what you've learnt, and to celebrate those learnings. So happy birthday to us, happy birthday to us, happy birthday dear Wild Women, happy birthday to us!

Becca xx


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